First off, I just wanna say that Pei Wei = LOVE.
I saw the most interesting-looking man while I was there tonight. He looked like a western-style Santa Claus, with a top hat and everything! I probably would have been more excited about the top hat if I wasn't so scared of them. (It's not that I'm actually afraid of top hats... it's just that there's a guy in a top hat who haunts my best friend's old room, and another one who haunts Ed Landreth Auditorium here at school. Creepy!)
Does anyone else think hallways are awkward? I never really felt this way in high school, 'cause the hallways were big enough that you could avoid making eye contact with someone if you really wanted to. But now that I'm in college there's this sort of obligation to act really friendly toward every single person you see on campus. Now, it's not that I mind smiling at people. I really think that a smile is all it takes to make a difference in someone's day. But when I'm walking down the long narrow hallway to my room, and someone else is walking toward me, there's this sort of tension... do I pretend I don't see her? Or do I fake a smile and keep going? Awkward! There's a video called "The Gauntlet" that is a perfect example of what I'm trying to describe, but I couldn't find it on YouTube..
There are a couple of girls from my church who go to TCU with me. One I see regularly, since we have the same major and have two classes together. The other I haven't seen since the first week of school, which was three weeks ago, so I decided to send her a text message today. My goodness, talk about forced conversation. I thought she'd be more excited to hear from me, 'cause we're pretty good friends, but I guess three weeks + never spending a moment away from her boyfriend is enough to make her forget about the rest of her friends. Oh well.
Also... I have a couple new posts on Blogger, if anyone's interested. I meant to copy them onto vox, but I forgot. Oh well!
Until next time. :)
Some things I've found myself thinking on a daily basis:
Who am I?
Where do I live? (No, really. Do I live at home, at school, or both...?)
Why can't I let people in?
Where do I belong?
All of those questions are painfully cliche, but are ones I can't stop thinking about. Answers? Comments? Greatly appreciated.
So there's been alot of family drama going on lately, and I'm not going to go into it because there's just too much, but it's been causing me a ton of emotional stress, mostly because I don't really know exactly how I should be feeling about any of it.
All I know is that I don't feel guilty that I don't feel the least bit sad about my grandpa's death.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd really love to hear some advice or just opinions on this subject in general.
sometimes I don't understand the way you work. maybe you could explain it to me someday, and then maybe everyone could have answers to why things like april 16th, 2007 happen.
kthxbye.
I wrote this when I was 14 years old.
"You know what... I just realized how childish our world is. I mean, if you really think about it, our leaders are acting just like a bunch of pre-schoolers would. The goal is to get as many friends as you can that you know will back you up if you get too deep into trouble. Like if the teacher catches you taking that peice of candy from her desk while she was gone, and your friend says that you were getting it for him."
i posted this on my LJ a little while ago:
"so. it's been a while, yeah?
I guess it doesn't really matter, since no one looks at this, anyway. that may or may not be a good thing. I've yet to decide.
so I guess all I really feel like doing is writing down some random thoughts. I got on LJ today with the intention of posting a rant-that's-not-really-a-rant about my best friend and how she's kind-of-but-not-really accusing me of not being dedicated enough to this club we're pres/v.p. of. I couldn't really tell what her tone was, since the entire thing took place via text messaging (ugh), but whatev. I guess it doesn't really matter. or maybe it does. but anyway!
so that was my original intent, but then I noticed how horrid my layout was, so I went in desperate search of a new one (since I'm completely reatarded at anything involving HTML). This one's alright, I guess. It's the only one I could find that wasn't leaden with some anime character/asian pop star that i've never heard of.
and THEN.... I dunno. I guess I've just been thinking alot lately about how much I think about things, and how many whatevers I have going through my head, problems or just random thoughts or... whatever, and I never tell anyone about them. I'm very closed-lipped, I think. I never write them down, either. I just have random thoughts floating around in my head, but I keep them to myself for God knows what reason. I guess I've always just fancied myself more of a listener than a talker. I mean, sure, I love to talk just as much as the next high school girl, but not about myself. and anyway, I'm probably not making any sense.
so here we go: as of this moment until whenever I feel like stopping, or whenever my mom catches me on the internet when really I should be doing homework, I'm going to type each and every random thought that comes into my head. (this should be interesting.)
TCU. I'm so excited and at the same time a little apprehensive. it's a big thing, going to college. everytime I think about TCU, I think, shouldn't I be there, instead of here? why am I still in high school? (which sucks, btw). I mean don't get me wrong, I'm gonna miss all of my friends when we all leave for where ever, especially my group of four, but I really can't wait to get the hell out of here. I'm so sick of everything that is high school. the drama, the... whatever. I'm sick of it. I'm ready to live in fort worth for the next four years of my life.
my wrist hurts
there are groups on facebook for TCU freshman to find roommates, but I don't think I want to find my roommate online. one of the girls from my church found her roommate online in one of those groups, and she seems pretty happy, but I just don't think I want to. call me old fashioned (eh?) but I'd rather meet my roommate when I move into my dorm on august 16. I mean, meeting your roommate online kind of defeats the whole SURPRISE effect, don't you think? and what if you end up being totally incompatible? that would just be really awkward, then. because then it'd be like, you chose each other but you can't stand each other, so now what? (stream of concious, anyone?) I've always been a fan of pot lucks, anyway.
I used to have a xanga. well I guess i still do, I'm just never on it anymore. I think it's funny how these things progress. in middle school it was xanga. the first 3 years of high school, it was myspace. now it's facebook. LJ was never really popular among the people I knew. the only people I know that have LJ I don't actually know at all, and they're all over at unknowableroom.org.
anyway, so I used to have a xanga. i had a couple, actually. well, ok, so i had four. the first one was faeriedoll. I think I had that one for the early parts of middle school. the second was oceansunset. that was maybe seventh and eighth grade. then came somethingjuvenile. that one held out while I was resisting the myspace plague. somewhere in between all those I had the bright idea to start almost_without_faith (how do I remember all these??). that one wasn't actually functional. for some reason I thought it would be cool if I wrote a story over xanga (the life of some imaginary, personality-less girl), got people's comments, and then published it. I think this was still middle school, or maybe freshman year. anyway, I got two entries in and then decided it wasn't worth my time.
I still think it's a cool idea, though. maybe someday i'll really write it out, only i'll make up the comments and stuff so there aren't any identity issues, or whatever.
I've always wanted to write a book. I've even tried, a couple of times. ok, so more like four or five times, but I never get very far. I just can't stick with anything long enough to finish it. I have all these really great (I think they're really great, anyway) ideas, and I'll start writing, just writing until the idea stops, and then I have nowhere else to go, so I file it away to spare myself further embarassment. I've written a couple of short stories, and right now I'm toying aorund with the idea of another one, but I hate that i get all these potentially great ideas and can never do anything about them.
I don't think I practice enough to be a music ed major.
writing and editing would be a good thing to fall back on. I think I'll minor in it.
I'm tired of coughing. literally. (ugh)
my friend just sent me a message on facebook asking if I wanted to donate blood with her at our school blood drive on thursday. of course i said yes, but I wonder if they'll let me. last year they wouldn't let me because I'd gone to mexico ten months prior, and apparently where i went in mexico has malaria, so I couldn't give blood. so instead of going back to class like i was supposed to, i went to a coffee shop thing and got myself a strawberry slush with pearls. or bubbles. or boba. or whatever. last summer i went to europe, and I wonder if they'll let me donate blood still, after that whole bird flu thing. apparently you can only save lives if you are a hermit. if they don't let me donate this year, though, I don't know that I want to risk being counted absent for any classes, because if I have an unexcused absense for any class then I can't be exempt. so far i'm going to be exempt from all my exams. (knock on wood).
I only believe in capitalization and proper grammar and punctuation sometimes. right now is not one of those times.
my immune system sucks. thanks alot, white blood cells!"
...for the same reason:
1) music
2) shoes
3) socks
the reason? they always fit.
Audio: If you could sing like anyone, living or dead, who would you choose to sound like? Share a song of theirs.
Submitted by aa.
Either Norah Jones or Jewel.
What are five things you're good at?
Submitted by HapaLove.
1) Staying up late
2) Sleeping in
3) Not doing my homework
4) Procrastinating
5) Music
Anyone ever look at really strange news? Not news about so many got killed in this bombing, or that the world is gonna end in so many years because of polution or whatnot. I mean really strange, out-of-this-world news. I was looking at some on Yahoo! this morning. I thought this one was particularly interesting:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070218/od_nm/israel_sex_dc;_ylt=AtMlzJ4FyjG2YkzmxNabuCXMWM0F
